Struggle. Struggle for peace of mind. Struggle for trust and honesty. Struggle for friends. Why does life have to be so hard? So complicated? Why can’t it all be easier?
It’s getting late and sleep has yet to find me. So I’m writing in hopes of releasing my thoughts and freeing my mind.
Something has been weighing heavily on my heart lately and it’s something I’m finding difficult to understand. I feel pretty certain I am losing a best friend, if I haven’t already and my heart is refusing to accept it. I’ve made attempts to reach out to them, to let them know they are missed, loved and wanted. Honestly I feel like I’m getting half-hearted replies, if I get any at all.
I know as you grow older friends come and go. Sometimes you lose them and sometimes you gain them. This is just one friend I never imagined I would lose. This has happened to several friends, not trying to single one out.
Yes I know my life has been busy and maybe I haven’t reached out as often as I should have and yes I know they have been equally as busy, but how hard is it to send a simply message to show you still care.
I think what bothers me the most is feeling forgotten, unwanted and unloved by people you once considered close friends. Seeing cherished friendships come to an end is something I am struggling to accept.