Missing someone is hard rather it be a loved one who is passed away, a dear friend you have lost contact with or someone you care about who moved incredibly far away. It never gets easier and you never really get used to it, you just learn to handle it. You learn how to avoid the things that remind you of them.
I have recently been going through a lot of missing people. I had my moment of missing my mawmaw and pawpaw brought on by a friend (older than I) calling and talking to her granddad on the phone, just to see how he was doing. It wasn’t until much later that night after I had been crying for a good hour because all I wanted to do was go stay the night with my mawmaw and pawpaw, so I could sit in mawmaw’s lap and have her rock me like when I was little or lay in the floor watching movies while pawpaw made popcorn or watching pawpaw cook Sunday morning breakfast, that it hit me it was 10 years to the day that my mawmaw passed away.
I have also been feeling like I am losing contact with a dear friend of mine and yes I have attempted to make plans with her. Our lives, however, are at two different points. Shes getting ready to get married and settle down and I’m still just trying to figure out who I am as a person and enjoying seeing the world. I miss that I don’t talk to her everyday like I once did. I’m upset that I don’t know what’s happening in her life and I’m upset that I’m no longer her best friend. I’m also saddened by the fact that I won’t be her maid of honor at her wedding like we had once planned on, but people change I guess. I just hope she knows I will always be here for her and that I wish her all the happiness in the world.
Now this next one comes in two parts. I have two people I care about who have moved far away. They both mean the world to me and they both moved for different reasons. One moved so she could find herself and truly embrace life and all that it is. The other moved so they could do the job they were trained to do.
The first one I miss, but I miss more for my mom than myself. My mom’s very best friend and the woman I feel like I am most like moved to another country. She was the person my mom ran too when she needed an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on or a friend to share a laugh with and she was the person I ran to when I needed someone to understand me. We both still run to her with our needs it’s just not in person anymore it’s over the phone or over the computer.
The best and worst for last. This one is the best because he is my favorite person and the one who holds my heart, but that also makes it the worst. I miss him more than anyone. You see, he is in the military and is currently stationed several states away and he will be there for the next two years. I miss him like crazy. I miss him on the weekends when everyone else is hanging out and going on dates with their signficant others and I’m alone in my room watching Netflix. Those people who say they miss their girlfriend/boyfriend after only a couple of days of not seeing them would never make it in a long distance relationship and yes I have been told I am crazy for making such a commitment (that’s a story for another day). Having to be so far away from the person you are in love with and not really knowing when you will see them again is hard, but for me it is worth it.
I have to constantly remind myself everyday that all the people I miss I will see again one day rather it be here on earth or in heaven. Missing someone is hard, but missing someone is your heart’s way of reminding you that you love them.